Yesterday, hundreds of thousands of babies were born. Almost all of them were regular, kind of cute but mainly weird-looking babies, and one of them was a royal baby. This royal baby comes from a long line of royal babies- his father was a royal baby, and his father was a royal baby, and his mother was a royal baby (#girlpower), and so on and so on for like a thousand years.
All posts in Cheese
As you definitely know, this past weekend was the premiere of the much anticipated film adaptation of The Great Gatsby. Everyone has been talking about it- Leo is in it, so you know it’s gonna be a blockbuster. That guy is such a gem. Can we just take a second?
By now I’m sure you have all heard the troubling news about our sweetheart, Reese Witherspoon. (That sentence was aimed exclusively at Americans; she is our sweetheart, America’s sweetheart; all other countries just back off and get your own sweetheart. I don’t even know if they are allowed to have sweethearts in other countries, and I’m too lazy to google it.)
As I was saying, though, our girl Reese is in some trouble. A couple of weeks ago, she and her husband were arrested in Atlanta- him for a DUI, and her for being kind of a fucking crazy biatch, evidence of which can be seen in the arrest video that was released last weekend.
What a freakin’ weekend I had, y’all. (Copyright R. Kelly, 2003) I’m still reeling from three days of binge eating, day drinking, and hobnobbing with some of the nation’s foodie elites at the Austin Food & Wine Festival. By “hobnobbing,” of course, I mean awkwardly standing behind them pretending to text but really eavesdropping on their conversations with other important people.
As far as festivals in Austin go, this is really the only one that has anything to offer me. I don’t really listen to music that isn’t Billy Joel or Beyoncé, so Austin City Limits and South by Southwest always feel like a homework assignment to not embarrass myself in front of the cool kids. Smoking weed takes me on an introspective journey through all of the people I have disappointed in my lifetime, so Reggae Fest and Eeyore’s Birthday are also out of the question. (Don’t I sound like a super fun person? Call me if you want to hang out!)
(Warning: This post contains spoilers from the premiere of “Mad Men,” so skip down to the food if you don’t want to read it.)
In Sunday night’s 19 1/2 hour season premiere of Mad Men, a lot of stuff happened. Well, kind of. It was long, and there were many scenes, but I’m not really sure what happened. I think the last season ended around the same time Bush was leaving office, and they didn’t give a “previously on” recap at the beginning of the episode, so I spent the first half hour doing a lot of “wait, who is that dude again?” and trying to readjust to the size of Megan’s teeth. Ugh– Megan. Don’t get me started.