All posts in Seafood

Spicy Asian Swordfish Skewers: Sharknadoes in Taradise


Spicy Asian Swordfish Skewers

Last Thursday, something sort of amazing happened. Our country had a brief yet powerful moment of national unity brought on by natural disaster. This disaster was not a tragedy, but a triumph. A triumph of human ingenuity. Alright, I’ll cut the crap- I’m talking about that stupid Sharknado movie.

In case you are some freak loser who experiences life through reality and not the internet and television, Sharknado is a made-for-TV movie that aired on SyFy, about a tornado full of- wait for it- sharks. Okay, well, actually it was a hurricane full of sharks, but we’re not keeping score on meteorological accuracy here.

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[THROWBACK FRIDAY] Tequila Lime Shrimp Scampi Linguini: Celebrate Cinco De Mayo Like You’re Marissa Cooper in Tijuana

 

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It’s almost Cinco de Mayo, y’all- the day when we celebrate the heroic bravery of the Mexican army in defeating the oppressive French occupants in a historic battle in pursuit of freedom and democracy and stuff! (I don’t know I just copy and pasted that off Wikipedia because I’m pretty sure it’s just an excuse for white college students to dress up in offensive Mexican stereotypes and black out during the day.)

Speaking of drunk white kids, remember that episode of The O.C. where they all go to Tijuana and Marissa Cooper chases a bunch of benzos with Tequila and passes out in the alley way? Of course you do; it is the greatest thing that has ever happened on television.

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Whiskey-Glazed Salmon with Mango Habanero Chutney: Brush Your Food (and Your Teeth) with a Bottle of Jack

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Pop stars are people too, you guys, and they want us all to know it. It is for this reason that the popumentary was invented. You see, to prove just how down-to-earth these celebs are, they allow cameras into their lives to document them doing totally normal people things (prepping for world tours, crying about leaked nude pics, etc.) We’ve seen it a thousand times, and in recent years the phenomenon has exploded. You have Katy Perry’s “Part of Me,” Beyonce’s “Life is But a Dream,” and of course, the creme de la creme- Justin Bieber’s “Never Say Never,” referred to by everyone who is me as The Godfather of modern day popumentaries.

At their finest, the popumentary effectively humanizes the humans we idolize, painting an endearing portrait of a person we previously assumed was a narcissistic psychopath. At their worst, they are an early sign of a very serious mental breakdown.

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Meyer Lemon and Asparagus Pesto Risotto with Sundried Tomatoes and Gulf Shrimp: The Arrival of Spring and Spring Breakers

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It’s a tradition as American as apple pie and not knowing where to find America on a map. Every couple of years, a new batch of baby-faced teens is harvested from the Disney Farmlands strategically positioned in our country’s most desolate regions. We take them in to our homes, tell them they are pretty, and give their mothers a reason to live. In return, they provide us with catchy pop songs and raise our children for us. A fair tradeoff.

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